Pikmin: Return of Olimar
by King Harkinian
Summary: He's back. He's pissed. He wants revenge. What will Olimar now do, after his family was killed by Pikmin? Find out in this realy EXCITING and CREATIVE fanfic.
1. Chapter 1: The Bad Things That Happen

It was another boring AND hot day.

Olimar was being Olimar, like every other day. Working in his job, eating stuff,  
working some more, and eating SOME more, getting fat, and going back home and sleep. Yeah, it had been really boring since those Pikmin incidents. Olimar wondered if they could come to his planet one day.

He was about to find out the answer this night.

As always, he was going back to his home, to talk about his job with his wife.  
His wife, Olimalierre, was a pretty hot chick for Olimar's standards. He also had 2 kids, but they never spoke to him recently. Olimar always thought they just found about sex and dropped their balls or something.

ANYWAY, as Olimar was on the doormat, he began hearing weird voices.

"Aiiieeee!"  
"Nuuuuu!"  
"Penispenispenispenis."  
"Aaaaaargh!"

He was worried now. Did something happen to his lovely family? He was so worried that he actually smashed the door open with his head. It hurt. A lot. But it was not the time to think about this. He ran to his bedroom, to see what was going on.

He. Was. Shocked.

Pikmin. They were here. In his room. Attacking Olimalierre. And the only thing she was able to do was screaming. Olimar quickly ran and tried to attack the Pikmin, but they were too strong for him. They kept biting her and chopping her ears off with their fingernails.  
It was kind of disgusting. But Olimar had no sense of disgust at this point.

He was PISSED.

He quickly ran to his work room, not noticing his kids' head being chopped off by the Pikmin because of being angry. Yes. He was THAT angry. Anyway, he grabbed his gun.  
This was his only gun. His prized gun actually. It was prized because of looking like Naruto.  
And it would say "Believe it!" when it shot bullets.

Getting the gun quickly, he ran back to the bedroom, again not noticing the kids' genital area being eaten off by Pikmin.

So, he got to the bedroom. At that point, Olimalierre's brain was being eaten by the Blue Pikmin.  
You could actually see the veins in Olimar's eyes. He grabbed his gun, and...

"Believe it!"  
"Believe it!"  
"Believe it!"  
"Believe it!"  
"Believe it!"  
"Believe it!"  
"Be-be-be-belie-be-believe i-believe it!"

They were all dead. At least they looked like they were. Olimar quickly rushed to Olimarielle to see if she could recover without a brain. Fortunately, she still had energy left to speak a few last words.

"O-o-oli-ma-r...."

"Y-you... Need t-to... Take r-revenge... On them... P-please..."

*Splat!*

The remaining part of her brain fell of her eaten head, so she DID die this time. Olimar was too angry to notice the brain falling though. His eyes could only see the blood.

Only.  
The.  
Blood.

He slowly walked his way to one of the Pikmin. He lifted it up, holding him from it's shoulders.  
After staring at it with pure hate, he shouted,

"WHERE IS MY WIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!111oneoneonenaerutocol" With his voice being cracked, strangling the Pikmin.

"..."

The Pikmin's head fell off.

Seeing that wasn't enough. Olimar wanted revenge. PURE revenge. He wanted to bathe in the blood of the Pikmin. Ok, that's kinda sick, but you get the point.

And with those thoughts, he ran out of his house, holding his Cool Naruto Gun.

-End of the First Chapter- 


	2. Chapter 2: The Good Guys Always Prepare

First, Olimar needed some more weapons. Any kind of object to hurt Pikmin. From some kitchen knife to a rocket launcher. And the good thing was that he knew where to get all those stuff from. He kept running.

Olimar read the sign. It said, "Morshu's Shop." this was a special shop that only sold bombs,  
but Olimar knew that there were lots of weapons hidden in the basement of the shop. He only needed to get Morshu out of the way.

"Lamp oil, rope, BOMBS? You wan-AAAAAGH!"

"Believe it!"

Morshu was dead in one bullet. Olimar was suprised that he could actually have the animalistic instinct to kill a human. But after all, it was something to be expected after seeing his wife being killed of in the most brutal way possible.

Olimar shook his head, clearing those images from his brain. He had to find the key that opens the door that goes to the basement. He began searching, but it was nowhere to be found. But he kept on searching. He HAD to find it.

...

Ok, maybe he didn't. After 26 minutes of searching, he gave up. He tried shooting the door with his prized Naruto Gun.

"Be-be-believe it!"

Well, there were some holes in the door, though they weren't exactly BIG enough for going in.  
He had to break the door. WITH HIS FISTS.

"CRACK!"

Ouch. He broke his hand. He could use his head, but that would hurt too much, even more then the previous time. He gathered around everything there was to open the door. He tried spilling some Lamp Oil on the door. Didn't work. He put the rope through the hole he made with his Naruto Gun.  
It didn't work. He threw a BOMB at the door.

It kinda over-worked.

Not only it did destroy the door, but also it destroyed the entire wall. He was about to go down the stairs when he notived something.

The explosion made Lamp Oil set on fire! The whole building began to be covered in flames. Olimar had not much time. He quickly ran down the stairs. There they were, all the weapons Morshu could collect in his life. He looked at them for a few seconds. He could take all, but there just was not enough time. So, he choose two.

A Naruto Chainsaw that says "Ninja legend!" everytime it sliced something.  
And a Naruto Machine Gun that shot shurikens at a rate of 23.4 shruikens a second.

These were really cool. Like Naruto. But he's cooler.

Anyway, he couldn't go up the stairs now. The flames made it impossible. The only choice he had was to slice the wall with his Naruto Chainsaw. He took it and-

"N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-ninja Legend!"

Only now he noticed that the walls were made out of metal here. Except the ceiling. It was still made of normal wood. But it was too high for him to reach. He had to think of a way though.

Or not.

The flames set off some bombs in the weapon room. An explosion could destroy him completely. He HAD to get out now. But how? How? HOW?

"Think, Olimar!" he said to himself.

Did he come all this way to kill himself in an explosion? What about his wife, or kids, or all those Pikmin he swore to kill? It was the end, after all.

3.  
2.  
1...

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.* (Yes, a dot.)

---

In some old building no one went near and entered, a Pikmin was walking around. It was not sure if it should enter or not, but it wasn't really it's choice. It had to-

"ENTEEER..." A hissing voice said.

And so, it entered. It was a weird hallway, with some old candles being lit. It would be kinda creepy if the Pikmin wasn't so scared already. And so it finally arrived. This was the throne room. It was specially designed so you could not see the guy sitting on the throne and I could reveal him later. Anyway,

"Telllzz meezz whatzzz happeneeedzzz..." He said, lifting his left hand and pointing at the Pikmin.

Since Pikmin could not speak, it tried to explain what happened by movements. Basically, it told everything happened to Olimar, and how some Pikmin menaged to run away from Olimar's rampage.

"Very wellzzzzz..." The shadowy figure said, standing up from the throne.

"First, I shall kill Olimar, and then, I WILL EAT SOME PATATOES! BWABWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

That Pikmin died from a heart attack at that point, seeing who that figure was. Poor Pikmin. Let's pray to God that it goes to Pikmin heaven. Anyway, as you see, some plans were set into motion...

-End of the Second Chapter- 


	3. Chapter 3: The Weird Things That Happen

Olimar woke up with the pain he felt on his ear. Even though there was pain, he opened his eyes REALLY slowly. I mean, SUPER slow. Yeah. Anyway, it didn't take even a second for him to see that his ear was being chopped off by a Pikmin. His rage at that second was unimaginable. He quickly punched the Pikmin. Of course, the Pikmin wasn't a pansie, so the punch only made it back a little. That, gave Olimar the chance to attack. Luckily, he still had his weapons, so he took his Naruto Gun.

"Be-believe it!"

Well, the Pikmin weren't that resistant to bullets. It quickly died.

After this, Olimar wondered where he was, and only then the pain from his burns kicked him. He DID survive from the explosion, but still, he was terribly wounded. He was having a hard time standing up.

Oh shit.

More Pikmin were coming there, hearing the gun noises.

"Damn." Olimar said.

He could only keep his consciousness for like, 4 or 5 more seconds. His only chance was to use his Naruto Machine Gun and kill off all of them.

*splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat*  
*splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat**splat*.

Most of the shruikens missed, but all of the Pikmin were dead, or wounded so badly that they weren't able to move. JUST LIKE OLIMAR.

Olimar tried to keep himself awake, trying to keep his eyes open. But, they were slowly closing themselves.

Slowly.  
Closing...

...

Once again, Olimar woke up. There was no pain this time though. Only, he couldn't feel ANYTHING at all. He tried to raise his head, but he had no energy for it. He just lay there , doing nothing.

"You okay?" Some voice asked.

Olimar opened his eyes. It was a Pikmin. Shit. And he couldn't even move. Was he going to die like this?  
What about his wife, or ki-wait, I already did this. Anyway,

"Don't worry, I'm a friend." Said Pikmin in a relaxing voice. Now that Olimar notice it, the Pikmin actually brought some pills and stuff.

"I should grab those pills." Olimar thought.

And so he did. Quickly he took those pills and swallowed them. With a *gulp* sound effect. He wondered if these were drugs, though it was kinda late for that, as those things were already began showing their effects. It was like everything was spinning. Like, he could see everything possible. Also, some blue Yoshi Plushies with holes in their butt were coming near Olimar to rape him. He was scared.

"DAAAMN YOU YOSHIES!" he said with an afro-american accent. You know I could say nigger there.  
But I didn't because people get offended and then come and use their Naruto Guns to shoot and kill me. Now I wouldn't like that, would I.

Olimar finally got the strength to move, thanks to the pills. He could hear the faint voice of that Pikmin saying "Nooo, don't do thaaat." but he was too damn high to listen. He grabbed his Naruto Chainsaw and began slicing those blue Yoshi Plushies with holes in their butt to death.

"N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-ninja le-n-n-n-n-n-ninja Legend!"

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed, due to the pills' effects.

...

It has been a few more hours since he took the pills. It seemed like he was finally becoming more normal,  
as he stopped seeing blue Yoshi Plushies with holes in their butt at this point. Now finally seeing things right, he noticed something KINDA important.

He sliced the head of that Pikmin.

Being suprised, Olimar got closer to that Pikmin, to check if he was still alive. Now you would think that it was stupid to check that when IT'S HEAD WAS SLICED OFF, but you know, he used drugs and stuff.  
Those are bad by the way. Drugs aren't cool or Naruto. Anyway, Olimar noticed that there was something wrong with the Pikmin's head. It was almost like it was some kind of mask, or a costume.

Gathering his courage, he took the sliced-off head and ripped of what looked like to be a mask. Well,  
apparently, it wasn't a mask. But now Olimar could see the face-muscles of the Pikmin, it was rather disgusting, but Olimar wasn't caring about that. There was something weird written on it's face.

"Rapus Oiram Yxalag"

Also there were stars on the r, u, r, m, y, a, and the g letters. He wondered what that meant, though he couldn't figure out. Maybe he could ask someone else, bringing them the head. But that would be disgusting,  
so Olimar wrote those things on the Pikmin's shed off skin with it's blood. There. Now it was less disgusting. With that being done, he set off outside, to find out where the heck he was.

...

Meanwhile, in that shadowy place, THAT guy was eating some patatoes.

"Hmmm. Patatoes." He said, and then took a bite of one. It was kinda sour, not to be expected from a patatoe.  
While eating it, he though about what happened to Olimar. His Olimar-o-meter showed that he was still alive,  
though he was busy with some other stuff. While thinking about these, some Pikmin came in.

By hand gestures, it explained that they found SOMETHING (couldn't translate that from the hand signs, SORRY)  
inside some mountain.

"Great." He said, laughing. "We're setting off, then!"

-End of the Third Chapter- 


End file.
